The family, if it works, is the core of a good human ecology. Many say that the family is so broken that there is nothing to protect anymore. But it’s usually said to promote ideologies of gender and sexual freedom opposed to a healthy family life. To talk about functional families is a bit reductive, but translates in terms of public health, which everyone understands, the benefits of a family that works.
The family has to do with what is most essential and sublime of human beings, their capacity to love, to surrender in a generous and selfless way to others. The commitment to engage in making the spouse happy, in health or illness, in poverty or wealth, for life, and together receive the children fruit of that love and dedicate their lives to educate and form them, is what expresses the abnegation of love most clearly. This is totally opposed to a self-centered way of seeing family and children as a right that people exercise to have what they think they need to achieve “goals ” and “self -fulfillment.”
This unconditional commitment for life is what allows total and mutual self-giving of the spouses. The easier and more frequent it is to divorce, more reasons to not risk much, to not share my wealth, my intimacy, my dreams and what is deepest in my heart. If I take the commitment seriously, I will prepare better and not just get carried away by feelings.
That unconditional love, for life, is the healthiest environment for the growth of children. It guarantees that the family can survive illness, poverty, conflicts and threats, for love is stronger than anything. It forges a strong security in children because they perceive in their parent’s love a solid foundation for self-esteem. The love, mutual support and seeking well-being of the family, teaches them to be patient, to tolerate and forgive, to share and sacrifice, to overcome selfishness and frustration because the love you have is a precious gift that is well worth it.
A person educated in the joy of the love and generosity, in the values of respect and tolerance, is someone able to form his own family, but also to contribute with that generosity and those values to society. Whoever is educated in insecurity and in seeking to satisfy their own choices rather than thinking of others, will only have fears and claims to contribute to society .